Love, Pain, And The Whole Crazy Thing
by Nonnihil Scelestus
Summary: Hermione experiences love, loss, reconnection and life. AU Remus/Hermione pairing
1. You're Not Alone Tonight

Love, Pain, And The Whole Crazy Thing

Chapter 1: You're Not Alone Tonight

It was a shock, something she had expected. She hadn't even known anything was wrong. It was sudden, too sudden to comprehend.

Hermione was devastated. That's all there was to it. She sat down hard in her chair. The letter in her hand was the culprit of the news. She found out from a bloody letter and from Arthur Weasley no less. How could they have been so cruel? Hermione's anger flared briefly and dissipated just as quickly to be replaced with sorrow. That's when the tears came, a torrential downpour that wouldn't cease.

Her mum was gone, dead, and no longer of this world.

_Dear Hermione,_

_I have some bad news. The police got in contact with me when you couldn't be reached. It seems a neighbor went over to check on your mum and she was dead. The coroner said a blood clot had caused it and her cancer was in remission. I had no idea that your mum wasn't well. You could have requested time off had you needed it. As it stands all her affairs were in order and she left everything to you. I believe you should return home immediately. I'm sorry for your loss._

_Sincerely,_

_Arthur Weasley_

How could he be so callous? Hermione crumpled the letter and tossed it into the fireplace. The tears, which had slowed, came back full force and she curled up in a ball on the bed in her hotel room, eventually falling into an exhausted sleep.

Hermione woke to brilliant sunshine, but her memories of the letter kept her from enjoying it. She sighed unhappily; her tears spent for the moment and began to pack. When she was done, she shrank her trunk and stowed it in her pocket and apparated to her little house. It was a quaint place her mother had helped decorate. There were several owls waiting in her tree as she opened her front door. Her mail was in a pile on the floor. She glanced at it sadly. A letter from Harry and Ginny, from Arthur and Molly, from Ron and Luna, from Sirius and Tristan (the girlfriend du jour), each sat atop the pile of bills and other correspondence. There was even one from McGonagall and a separate one from Dumbledore. She knew what they were. She opened the one from Dumbledore first and read it. He had the keys to hr mothers house and had been named executor of her estate. He requested that she come to see him as soon as she was comfortable to retrieve that keys, and decide what to do with her mother's estate. Hermione left the rest of the post and flooed to Hogwarts. Dumbledore was waiting patiently for her to dust off her clothes. When she was finished, he held open his arms to her and she rushed into them to be hugged tightly. Dumbledore had been like a father to her, in the absence of her own; who had left when he discovered that she was a witch.

"Hermione, as wonderful as it is to see you again, I wish it were under better circumstances." Albus said, his eyes lacking their usual twinkle.

"As do I." She answered flatly. It seemed that shock had settled in.

"If you do not object, I will accompany you to your mother's home. Do you know what you want to do with the house?" He asked.

"Sell it. I wont be able to live there again."

"Very well. I believe Professor McGonagall should come as well." Hermione just shrugged. Albus flooed the other professor, who stepped through the fireplace a moment later. She swept Hermione into a hug, which was returned half-heartedly. She was beginning to feel numb.

They left Hogwarts grounds and apparated to Hermione's mother's house. Albus produced a key and let them in.

"What do you want us to do, Hermione?" Minerva asked.

"Pack the living room. Leave the furniture and the TV. Pack the kitchen and the study. I'll do the upstairs." She answered as she started up the stops. They nodded and set to work shrinking things into a box. Hermione went into her mother's room. She conjured a box and began to fold her mother's clothes into it. When she got to an old Oxford sweatshirt from her mum's college days, the tears returned and turned into silent sobs. She set the shirt aside. She would hang onto it. She packed the rest of the clothes. They would have to be donated. With a quick look around to make sure she hadn't forgotten anything, she went onto the next room. Each room was emptied of personal items, leaving only the furniture. She sent the boxes downstairs after she was finished. Those that were marked donate, were left normal sized. The rest she shrank and put into the bag that McGonagall held. She looked around on last time. She felt like she was forgetting something.

"Is that everything, Hermione?" Albus asked.

"No, I've forgotten something, I know it." She looked around again, while Albus and Minerva puzzled over what they could have missed. Albus brightened a moment later.

"Your mother's car perhaps." He suggested. Hermione snapped her fingers as if that was it exactly.

"I can't leave mum's baby. She'll haunt me if I do. She loved that thing. Had it imported and restored. It cost a fortune, but she didn't care. She was going to have it no matter what." She led them around to the side of the house and opened the garage. Sitting under a cover was her mum's pride and joy, a 1971 Barracuda, goldenrod yellow with white leather and a white convertible top. Hermione pulled back the cover and Albus chuckled.

"That explains the baby. Are you going to sell it?" Hermione looked at him like he'd grown three heads.

"Sell the 'Cuda?! No! Never! I couldn't…" Albus waved her off.

"I understand. You'll want to contact a realtor." She nodded as he passed her the keys to the house and the deed. He also passed her an envelope that was sealed with her name on it. "You'll also want to speak with a lawyer, about your mothers accounts." She nodded again.

"Minerva, will you do me a favor?" The older witch inclined her head. "Will you take the bag to my house. If you go by floo, the wards will let you through. Just drop it on the couch and I'll deal with it later." Minerva nodded and was in the fireplace and gone a moment later.

"I assume you wish to do everything today. What shall we do first?"

"I need to take the boxes to be donated and the TV to the nearest shelter. Have you ever ridden in a car before?"

"Once a very long time ago." His twinkle was returning and Hermione felt herself smiling as well. There was just something about Albus that made everything seem better. She levitated the boxes and TV into the backseat of the car. She locked the doors to the house.

The drive to town was only about twenty minutes long, but it was comfortable and easy as Hermione was an excellent driver. Their first stop was the lawyer. He read over the will and her mother's wishes. Everything was in order. Hermione's mum had left everything to her, so there wouldn't be any conflicts. Their next stop was the realtor's office. He was an old family friend. He listed the house at a fair price and would let her know when it sold. Their last stop was the Women's Shelter in town. Hermione dropped off the boxes of clothes and the TV. As she would have to apparate back to her own home, she drove them back to the house and parked in the garage. She shrank the car in its cover and put it in her pocket. Albus flooed to Hogwarts a moment later. Hermione apparated home. She felt exhausted, like there was this enormous weight holding her down. She had no other family. She was alone.

A knock at her door startled her out of her reverie. She opened it to see Remus on her doorstep, looking scruffy and rumpled and oh so familiar in the t-shirt she had made for him the Christmas before. It said 'Wanna ride my broom?" Just the sight of him was so welcome that she almost cried in relief.

"I heard about you mum. Are you ok?" Remus asked after she led him into the living room.

"I don't know yet. I think I'm in shock."

"Do you want some tea, Mione?" All she could do was nod. She and Remus had become close after the war. He knew his way around her kitchen very well. He made tea and brought it back to the living room. When he passed her the cup, she only stared at it, like she had forgotten what it was for. A moment later her hand started to shake and he set her cup aside and pulled her close.

Hermione shuddered and began to sob. The mere presence he provided was so special and she burrowed deeper into his strong arms, the scent of him and chocolate washing over her. He rocked her, stroking her head and rubbing her back. He started humming under his breath, getting a little louder until she could hear the actual words coming from his chest.

_We all drink to forget_

_Some of us more than most_

_When reality gets too real_

_And the fires of hell too close_

_But I'm here to let you know_

_That you can make it through_

_If you believe that someone is watching over you_

_And call it an angel_

_Call it a muse_

_And call it karma you've got coming to you_

_What's the difference_

_What's in a name_

_What matters most is never losing faith_

_You're not alone tonight_

As he started the second verse, her tears slowed, but she was still taking hitching breaths.

_We all have our days_

_When nothing goes as planned_

_Not a soul in the world_

_Seems to understand_

_And for someone to talk to _

_You'd give anything_

_Well go on and cry out loud_

_Cause someone's listening_

_Yeah call it an angel_

_Call it a muse_

_And call it karma you've got coming to you_

_What's the difference_

_What's in a name_

_What matters most is never losing faith_

_Cause its gonna be alright_

_You're not alone tonight_

_Keep your faith alive_

_You're not the only one_

_Yeah call it an angel_

_Call it a muse_

_And call it karma you've got coming to you_

_What's the difference_

_Wants in a name_

_What matters most is never ever losing faith_

_Yeah you're gonna be alright,_

_You're not alone tonight._

Remus looked down to see that she had fallen asleep in his arms. He was loath to disturb her. She would need as much rest as possible, so he rearranged them on the couch and covered them with a quilt. When he was comfortable and he was sure Hermione was still asleep, he let himself drift off as well.


	2. Tonight I Wanna Cry

Love, Pain, And The Whole Crazy Thing

Chapter 2: Tonight I Wanna Cry

The next few days were made easier by the fact that Remus was there. He made sure she ate and had a shoulder to cry on. He listened when Hermione wanted to talk and let her be when she needed to be alone. She was relieved that he was there instead of Harry and Ron. She and the boys had grown apart and they would have smothered her.

It was two weeks later that Hermione finally let everything go. She started to smile again and laugh a little. She had accepted her mother's death enough to realize that she wouldn't have wanted her to mope and cry all the time. She realized that her mum would have wanted her to keep living her life and remember their happy times. She would always feel the missing part where her mother had been in her life, but she would be ok. It would still hurt, but she would make it. Remus was glad she was better, but didn't want to leave her. He had grown accustomed to her presence, and her house had become more like home than his own, but he had to get back to his shop eventually.

"Hermione, I think its time for me to go home. You don't need me to hang around anymore, and I don't want to wear out my welcome." Remus said quietly as they sat on her porch drinking coffee, one morning. She looked surprised.

"Do you have to go?" She pouted slightly.

"Yes, I have to finish setting up my store so I can get it open." She looked sad.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Hermione. What wrong?" She wouldn't look him in the eye.

"These past few weeks have been easier because you're here, but now I don't want you to go. I love you, Remus." He sighed. He had been afraid that it would happen like this between them.

"All the more reason for me to leave."

"Why? Don't you care for me?" She snapped.

"Of course I care about you. You are one of my best friends. But I'm twenty years older than you and I'm a werewolf. I want to give you time to grieve properly for your mum. I don't want you to use me to fill a void and then realize that's all you wanted me for. Besides I have nothing to offer you. And if we were together, we could never get married or have children. The Ministry would never allow the first and any kids we had would inherit my curse. It would drive us apart and I don't want that either." He didn't know what other reasons he could give her, that he was a bad choice all around. He could fall in love with her so easily.

"Do you really think so little of me, that I would care about you being a werewolf, or that I would use you so carelessly? That hurts Remus. If you really think that, fine then. Please leave." She said it firmly, but her lips quivered and he could see the tears were barely held in check. He went inside and gathered his things. Five minutes later he was gone in a brilliant green flash of floo powder.

Hermione let the tears go. She took deep breaths to stay silent. She went inside and picked up a bottle of firewhiskey. She usually wouldn't touch the stuff, but she felt the need to be roaring drunk. She went to her potions lab in the basement and drank while she stared at her notes on the Wolfsbane potion and lycanthropy. Not a good combination.

Two days later Tonks knocked on her door. Hermione answered the door blearily. She had a horrible hangover and really didn't want company.

"What?" She demanded.

"That should be my line. Or maybe it should be 'What the hell did you do to Remus?'" Tonks asked pushing her way inside.

"I didn't do anything to Remus. He said it was time for him to go and he left." She countered.

"Well he came home looking like someone had knocked him bristles over handle, and then he kicked me out."

"Last time I checked, that is his house. He can do what he wants.

"He said he didn't love me. That he wont love me. He says he cares about someone else."

"Jealous? Well it isn't me, because he ran from me. I love him and he walked away." Tonks looked like she was about to let loose a nasty curse.

"You little whore! You stole him from me!" Hermione sighed.

"Go away Tonks, my head hurts too much to deal with this."

"Go back to your bottle Hermione, and let a real woman take care of him." Tonks spat bitterly and left. Hermione turned back to her bottle and her potions lab and Tonks went back to Remus.

"Remus, I'm back." She called as she walked through the front door.

"I told you not to come back. You and I were never meant to be. I don't love you. I never did. Go away." Remus said dangerously. She opened her mouth to say something else, but he cut her off. "Go away!" She huffed and stomped out the door.

"Hermione, I'm so sorry. You deserve so much better than me." He whispered into the darkness.

_Alone in this house again tonight_

_I've got the TV on,_

_The sound turned down and a bottle of wine_

_There's pictures of you and I on the walls around me_

_The way that it was and could have been surrounds me_

_I'll never get over you walking away._

Hermione wandered through her house looking at all the pictures of Harry and Ron and Remus, and all the order members, her friends and her mother. She had never felt so truly alone.

_I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show_

_And I thought being strong never meant losing your self-control_

_But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain_

_To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain_

_From my eye_

_Tonight I wanna cry._

_Would it help if I turned a sad song on_

_"All by myself would sure hit me hard now that you're gone_

_Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters_

_Its gonna hurt bad before it gets better_

_But I'll never get over you hiding this way._

Hermione felt like she had lead around her heart. Something didn't feel right about Remus disappearing…like he was scared. That's when it hit her, why he left. The tears poured down her face. "Oh, Remus…"

_I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show_

_And I thought being strong never meant losing you're self-control_

_But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain_

_To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain_

_From my eyes_

_Tonight I wanna cry._

She put away the bottle and headed to her lab. She was going to find a cure for Remus, so that he would never have to fear that he would hurt her.


	3. You Look Good In My Shirt

Love, Pain, And The Whole Crazy Thing

Chapter 3: You Look Good In My Shirt

It took months of trial and error, but it paid off in the end, when Hermione found the right combination of spells and potions to cure Remus of lycanthropy. She sent her work to her boss at the Ministry. He found her a subject to test it on. When the results came back, and the lucky subject was cured, she rushed to see Remus.

She walked into his shop. He was helping a customer reach a book. He handed it to the lady and was chatting amiable with her. Hermione couldn't wait any longer. She put her hands over his eyes. She knew, he knew who it was.

"Guess who!" She called happily. The lady chuckled and Remus smiled.

"Minerva, Serena, Ginny, Molly, Fleur, Poppy…I know! Its Hermione." Remus said.

"Bout time you got it right. I have some good new for you." She was practically bouncing up and down in excitement.

"What is it?"

"I found it. I figured it out. It works. Its been tested. I found the cure." He stared at her with a blank look, until it finally sank in exactly what it was she had actually found. He let out a whoop before he picked up her up in a hug and spun her around. When he finally set her down, he kissed her soundly.

"Wow." She breathed.

"Wow is right. I wanted to apologize to you before, but I wasn't sure how to tell you. I was scared. I never wanted to hurt you, and I was so afraid that I would, even accidently. I ended up hurting you anyway. I didn't give you a chance to offer yourself freely. I decided for you. I'm sorry and I do love you, Hermione." He said in a rush.

"Apology accepted. I love you Remus Lupin. You are my soul mate." He kissed her again. "Would now be a good time to ask you to be my date to the formal event to celebrate, two days from now?"

"A perfect time. I'll pick you up at seven.

"Great. I'll let you get back to work." With that Hermione left. It took a full minute for him to turn back to a shop full of customers grinning at him. He cleared his throat gently and tried not to blush as he went back to work.

Two days later found him in his best dress robes, waiting at Hermione's door. She gestured for him to come in. She was dressed yet, but still in her bathrobe.

"Sorry. I'm almost ready. I'll be back in a moment." She disappeared back into her bedroom and dressed quickly in a dark red velvet dress and cloak. She made a few wand movements to twist her hair into a style. She put her earrings and her necklace on last. She added a splash of perfume and stepped into her shoes and she was ready.

"Ok, I'm ready." Hermione said as she came out. Remus stared in awe. She looked stunning. He opened and closed his mouth several times before he gave up and just smiled. She laughed and took the arm he offered her. They apparated outside the grounds of Hogwarts and caught a carriage in to the front of the castle. The party was to be held in the Great Hall. Albus greeted them at the entrance, giving both Hermione and Remus hugs. They joined the rest of the party. The only person who didn't show that night was Tonks.

Speeches were made and the dancing commenced. All of them were a little drunk by the time things wound down. Remus was a little more sober than Hermione, but they still ended up using floo to get home. He carried Hermione through the grate and cast a quick wandless cleaning char on them, before taking her upstairs to his room. He layed her gently on the bed and was about to go when she pulled him down beside her. He thought she had fallen asleep but she had only been pretending.

"Don't leave me again, Remus."

"I wont Hermione." He pulled off her shoes and cloak, took off her earrings and necklace before unzipping the back of her dress. He sat up and removed his own shoes and formal attire. He always slept in boxers so when he was down to those, he passed Hermione a t-shirt. She stared at it for a moment before breaking into gales of laughter. It said, 'Chasers do it better!' Remus just smiled when she finally pulled it over her head and lay back down, staring at him through heavy lidded honey colored eyes.

"You have great taste in t-shirts." She said sleepily.

"I've heard that. Now, go to sleep." He answered. She hummed and drifted into dreams, or at least that's what he thought when he settled in next to her. She had been waiting for a moment to pounce, and pounce she did, just like a cat. He was taken by surprise when she sat up and across his thighs.

"I love you, you know that, right?" She asked.

"I have a pretty good idea." He responded.

"Good." She leaned down to kiss him and some how managed to rid him of his boxers before he even knew what was happening. She had already lost her panties, but she still wore his shirt. She started to move lower nibbling his collarbone, then down to lick a nipple. This pushed him into action. He rolled them over and eased into her. She wasn't a virgin, but she was tight and he knew it had been awhile for both of them. When she started to move against him, he began to thrust. They drove each other to the edge and over, before they collapsed into a sweaty heap. Hermione never made it out of his shirt.

"You look good in my shirt." Was all he said before they both drifted off into sleep.

_When you walked up behind me and covered my eyes_

_And whispered in my ear, guess who_

_I rattled off names like I really didn't know_

_But all along I knew it was you_

_And the longer we talked the more we laughed_

_And wondered why we didn't last_

_It had been a long time but late last night_

_Baby we caught up real fast_

_And maybe it's a little too early_

_To know if this is gonna work_

_All I know is your sure looking_

_Good in my shirt_

_That's right_

_You look good in my shirt_

_Now I'm not saying we solved overnight_

_Everyway that we went wrong_

_Oh but what I'm seeing I'd sure love seeing_

_Every morning from now on_

_And maybe it's a little too early_

_To know if this is gonna work_

_All I know is your sure looking_

_Good in my shirt_

_That's right_

_You look good in my shirt_


	4. You'll Think Of Me

Love, Pain, And The Whole Crazy Thing

Chapter 4: You'll Think Of Me

After the reception in honor of Hermione's cure, she and Remus were inseparable. They spent as much time together as possible. When Hermione needed a break from standing over her cauldron, she would have tea in the café section of his bookshop, and on the day the shop was closed, Remus was often found passing herbs and various other ingredients to Hermione, as she worked toward other cures.

They were happy with each other, content in their company. Slowly, almost too gradually to notice, Hermione began working harder and harder. She would spend all day and all night in her potions lab. To the outside world they still seemed the happy couple, but Remus saw less and less of her. He brought it up during dinner, six months after they got together.

"Mione, you've been working very hard these last few months. What do you say to a vacation? Just the two of us, in a little cottage by the sea for a few days or a weekend." He suggested as they were eating. She looked at him as if he had grown two heads.

"I can't go now. I'm really close to making a breakthrough. It could mean a cure for the Cruciatus curse. And then I need to work on my shield for it. I don't have time for a vacation right now." She answered.

"You don't have time for a vacation, or you don't want to take a vacation with me…" He muttered to himself. Despite their relationship and the evidence that Hermione didn't care how old he was, Remus still had some self-esteem issues. He loved Hermione, more than anything and he wanted to spend some time with her that didn't involve potions or his shop.

"What's that supposed to mean?" She asked. He hadn't been as quite as he thought, and looked guilty for a moment.

"I want some time with the woman I love…"

"We spend time together in the lab."

"That's work and when we're there, I'm nothing but a glorified gofer. You don't come to the shop anymore. I had to remind you six times we were having dinner tonight and still had to drag you out of the lab. Working is great, but you need to poke your head out once in a while."

"Poke my head out? You mean like I did during the war, and take part in the battles, or should I stop working on my potions and forget that I made a cure for werewolves, forget that Neville still has parental issues, and that I have a decent chance of giving him his mum and dad back…"

"I just want you to slow down a little. You'll burn yourself out. I know from personal experience." This seemed to only fuel her ire further.

"Now you sound like a parent, Remus. But you seem to forget I'm not the bookish third year you befriended. I'm an adult."

"I love you Mione. I'm just trying to look out for you. You're so young."

"You're not my father, Remus. Don't act like it. I'm going back down to work. If you have any problem with that, you can leave." She stormed back into her potion's lab. Remus sat at the table for a moment, in shock, before it sank in. He left.

It took another week in the lab, and Hermione found her cure for the Cruciatus victims. Remus read about it in the Daily Prophet. She proposed to give it to the Longbottoms as soon as possible. He felt a stab of pride at her accomplishment, but it was quickly followed by guilt. He could have waited another week. Coincidentally, Tonks came into the shop that day. She still looked good, but then as a metamorph, she always looked good. Remus sighed wearily when he saw her. She still had that look in her eye and Remus knew that if he'd still been a werewolf, he would have smelled the glee and want and meanness on her. It was probably the only thing he missed about being a wolf, was his acute senses. Maybe he would look into becoming an animagus.

"Remus. You're looking well. I haven't seen you in ages." Tonks simpered and he had to fight the urge to gag loudly. She batted her eyelashes at him.

"Tonks, nice to see you. What brings you by?"

"I heard about your break up with Hermione. I always thought she wasn't woman enough for you. She's still a child." He quelled another urge to defend Hermione, but she had taken away that right when she told him to leave.

"I agree. I must have lost my mind there for a little while." He gave Tonks a small smile.

Hermione on the other hand had just realized what she'd done. She was so caught up in her work that she didn't realize she had dismissed him without a thought. He was gone and there wasn't a thing she could do about it. She wandered the house that was filled with memories of the two of them. Like when he surprised her with roses and a bottle of champagne, through the floo. They had made love on the run in front of her fireplace. He had been wearing on of his t-shirts that she loved. It had a picture of a Rememberall that clouded with red smoke every few minutes and flashed 'What did I forget?' in bold letters. She had been wearing one of her own that said 'Have you seen my owls?'. Remus had loved that one. She wandered into her study. They had spent many a night discussing various topics especially Arithmancy and Ancient Runes. When she wandered into her bedroom she remembered the cuddling late at night and having tea with him at his shop. She found the sweater he had leant her, and she kept forgetting, accidentally on purpose, to return it. Each memory brought on another onslaught of sadness and she found herself sobbing into the sweater, breathing the lingering scents of him into her lungs, as if that would make him suddenly appear.

That night Hermione fell asleep in her living room chair and dreamed or Remus with Tonks, Remus yelling at her, Remus calling her a child and turning her into a baby, diaper and all, and last, just before dawn, a dream of being alone forever, knowing he was the perfect one for her.

She woke with a vow on her lips. She would get him back if she had to fight Voldemort again to do it. Hermione got up and showered, tamed her riot of curls, dressed and headed for his shop. She was just about to go in when she spied him and Tonks through the window. Tonks had her arms around his neck and was nibbling on his ear, then she kissed him, and Hermione could take no more. She was off like a rocket, and headed straight for her home. She knew that Remus had never loved Tonks, and was damn sue the little whore would rot in hell before she would let her sink her talons into him permanently. Now all she had to do was come up with a plan.

Remus had spotted Hermione in the window but couldn't move fast enough to get to her. When he went to bed that night, he clicked on the radio fro something to disturb the silence. All he could think about was how Hermione deserved what she saw, and the radio played the anthem of his life. Little did her know, she was listening to the same song

_I woke up early this morning around 4 am_

_With the moon shining bright as headlights on the interstate_

_I pulled the covers over my head and tried to catch some sleep_

_But thoughts of you kept keeping me awake_

_Ever since you found yourself in someone else's arms_

_I've been trying my best to get along_

_But that's ok_

_There's nothing left to say but_

_Take your records, take your freedom_

_Take your memories, I don't need them_

_Take your space and take you reasons_

_But you'll think of me_

_And take you cat and leave my sweater_

_Cause we have nothing left to weather_

_In fact I'll feel a whole lot better_

_But you'll think of me_

_I went out driving, trying to clear my head_

_I tried to sweep out al the ruins my emotions left_

_I guess I'm feeling just a little tired of this_

_And all the baggage that seems to still exist_

_It seems the lonely blessing I have left to my name_

_Is not knowing what we could have been_

_What we should have been, so_

_Take your records, take you freedom_

_Take your memories, I don't need them_

_Take your space and take you reasons_

_But you'll think of me_

_And take you cat and leave my sweater_

_Cause we have nothing left to weather_

_In fact I'll feel a whole lot better_

_But you'll think of me_

_Someday I'm gonna run across you mind_

_Don't worry I'll be fine_

_I'm gonna be alright_

_While you're sleeping with your pride_

_Wishing I could hold you tight_

_I'll be over you_

_And on with my life._

_Take your records, take you freedom_

_Take your memories, I don't need them_

_Take your space and take you reasons_

_But you'll think of me_

_And take you cat and leave my sweater_

_Cause we have nothing left to weather_

_In fact I'll feel a whole lot better_

_But you'll think of me_


	5. Whenever I Run

Love, Pain, And The Whole Crazy Thing

Chapter 5: Whenever I Run

Hermione waited a few days before returning to Remus' shop. She wouldn't let on that she had seen him with Tonks. She would get him back the hard way. After the way she had treated him, she deserved to have to work for him.

She peaked into the shop window. He was there, wiping off tables. It was close to closing time, so the café was empty. Tonks seemed to be absent as well, so she entered cautiously. Remus looked up with a smile until her saw it was her

"Hermione. What brings you here?" He asked.

"I came to apologize. I was cruel when I sent you away and I didn't realize what I had done until I poked my head out of the lab. You were right. I was burying myself and not paying any attention to you, the most important person in my life. I realize I really screwed things up, but I would really like a second chance, because no matter what, I still love you and that will never change." She stated. His glare softened. He hated having to make her beg, but he needed to know that she meant it, that she was ready to be with him. He was convinced, so he cut her some slack.

"I was hoping you still loved me, because I missed you, and I can live without you." He took her hand. "But you have to promise me something."

"Anything."

"No more fighting, you poke your head out once in a while, and marry me?"

"Agreed…wait, did you just ask me to marry you?"

"Yes, and you cant back out of it now, you've already agreed." He said with a devilish smile.

"But I didn't know what I was getting into." She returned, her own impishness surfacing.

"Too late, no take backs."

"Very well then. I supposed I'll have to then, but only because you asked so nicely." They laughed and he pulled her close and kissed her gently.

"You know, I was going to ask you to marry me the night we fought?"

"Were you? That makes me feel so bad." She buried her face in his chest. "I'm sorry, Remus"

"Don't worry about it. We're together now. Come on, let's lock up and go home…" Remus paused as he spotted Tonks in the doorway.

"Well isn't this cozy." She sneered at them. "I thought you were done slumming, Remy."

"Go away, Tonks. We aren't getting together. Even if Hermione and I never gotten together, you wouldn't have a chance. I don't love you and frankly you aren't being a good friend right now with." He answered.

"So you'll take the little bitch back like a good dog, led around by his dick. Maybe you aren't as bright as I thought."

"That's it!" Hermione yelled and stepped toward Tonks. "I can take an insult, but you just took it too far, you…you witch!"

"Is that the best you can do? I'm terrified." Tonks laughed

"Nope, I can do this." She drew back her fist and let fly a punch that had sent Malfoy scampering once upon a time. Tonks was knocked out cold.

"Bravo, but violence is never the answer, especially since she can turn you in for assault." Remus commented.

"Oh well, she had that coming. I don't care what she says about me, but when she insults you, that's another matter altogether."

"Let's go home and finish getting over out spat."

"I like the way you think, besides, I brought you a new t-shirt as a bribe."

"Really? What this one say?"

"'I'm invisible! Can you tell?' I wouldn't wear it around muggles though, because it causes you to go invisible every few minutes, for about thirty seconds."

"Sounds like a good one. I just happen to have one for you too. It says, 'Have you seen my snitch?'. It has a snitch that appears and disappears at random intervals."

"What do you say to trying these out after we kick Tonks out?" She said, gesturing to the metamorph currently unconscious on the café floor.

"Good idea." They levitated the Auror out onto the bench outside the door, then locked up and apparated to Remus' house. They spent the rest of the evening making up in his bed.

The next morning Remus made them breakfast. They were still catching up on things, talking now instead of using their bodies.

"I heard about your new cure in the Daily Prophet. Have you given it to the Longbottoms yet?" He asked.

"Yes, but its taking several treatments, because of the amount of time they've been under the effects. I tried it with Severus too. He's been hit so many times that he had permanent shakes. He couldn't do potions these last few years because his hands would shake too much and you and I both know how passionate he is about his potions. It worked perfectly for him. One dose and he was steady as a rock."

"That's wonderful"

"You want to know something?" He nodded. "It was discovering the cure that made me realize that you were gone, because I went to tell you first and you weren't there and I realized that I had driven you away." She stated softly, with tears in her eyes.

"Don't cry, my sweet. We're alright now. We'll never be apart again."

"You're my rock, Remus, the only one I ever want to run to. I love you."

"I love you too." They smiled at each other for a few moments. "You know, if the Longbottoms are well enough, we should surprise Neville by having them at Grimmauld."

"I'll make sure they are, and you clear it with Sirius. I'll let Albus in on it and we'll make it a surprise for Neville and his Gran."

The Christmas party came upon them faster than they realized. Frank and Alice were almost completely healed and the party plans had been on such a grand scale, that they had to move it to the Great Hall at Hogwarts, instead of Grimmauld Place, to accommodate all the people.

Everyone was in good spirits and the party was in full swing when Frank and Alice walked in, to the surprise of everyone. The Hall erupted in applause and cheers for them. Neville hugged her so hard, Hermione thought she was going to break.

"Well done, Miss Granger. You've worked miracles. Thank you." Severus said from behind her. She turned to face him, Remus at her elbow.

"I'm glad I could help, Professor." She offered her hand. Severus took it gently before pulling her close and hugging her as well.

"Call me Severus. We're equals, after all."

"Severus." She said and hugged him back. He released her and nodded to Remus, before he rejoined the festivities. "Well that was interesting."

"To say the least. Look Albus is about to make an announcement."

"Ladies and Gentlemen, may I have your attention please. I have a few things to say. First is Welcome back to Frank and Alice Longbottom. It's good to see a family back together. To Severus, welcome back as well. Professor Snape, will be resuming his duties as potions master at Hogwarts. Congratulations to Remus on his being cured of lycanthropy and his new café and book shop. Congratulations to Hermione for her discovery of the two cures, and last but not least, congratulations to both Hermione and Remus for their up coming wedding." The entire hall erupted into applause.

_I've seen that darkness on the edge of town_

_The sun come up and the rain fall down_

_And I've been a fool, yeah I've been around_

_And when the world got too much for me_

_I took off and left a memory_

_Thinking I'd find something better for me some how_

_Oh but now_

_Whenever I run_

_Instead of running into the blue_

_I follow my heart_

_And there in your arms_

_Is where I find the love I need_

_And the best is yet to come_

_Baby you the one I run to_

_I used to quit when it go too tough_

_Throw in my cards when I was down on my luck_

_But baby you mean too much to me_

_So now_

_Whenever I run_

_Instead of running into the blue_

_I follow my heart_

_And there in your arms_

_Is where I find the love I need_

_And the best is yet to come_

_Baby you're the one I run to_

_I never could stay in one place too long_

_I never could stand that still_

_Oh but you changed so much in me_

_And now I know I will_

_I'm gonna stay where love is right_

_I'm so tired of being a bird in flight_

_Good love takes work_

_Oh but that's alright_

_That's alright_

_Whenever I run_

_Instead of running into the blue_

_I follow my heart_

_And there in your arms_

_Is where I fins the love I need_

_And the best is yet to come_

_You're the only one_

_Instead of running into the blue,_

_I follow my heart_

_And there in your arms_

_That's when I find the love I need_

_And the best is yet to come_

_Baby you're the one I run to_

_The one I run to_

_The one I run to._


	6. Raining On Sunday

Love, Pain, And The Whole Crazy Thing

Chapter 6: Raining On Sunday

The wedding had everyone in good spirits. Molly and Minerva had taken over all the planning while Ginny and Luna were trying to get Hermione in for fittings and to choose bridesmaid dresses. Between Remus' work at the café and the training of his new staff, the wedding, and Hermione's work in the lab, neither had much time to themselves or with each other.

Remus and Hermione passed each other over the coffee in the morning and in the bathroom at night. Remus had given up his flat and had moved his things into Hermione's house. Even living together didn't provide them with time for each other.

"We need some time away from all the fuss. Just a quick 3 day weekend to get away." Remus said one morning over coffee.

"I agree. I love Molly and Minerva and the girls, but they are driving me mental. Are you sure we cant elope?" Hermione asked.

"No. That would disappoint them. No, I have just the thing. I'll let you know for sure when I get in tonight, but somehow I'll get us away for the weekend."

"Alright, but you better go now, or you'll be late opening." Remus looked at the clock and swore. He gave her a quick kiss and was out the door in a crack. When he took a break for lunch, he flooed Severus.

"Remus. This is a surprise. What can I do for you?" Severus asked, only glancing up long enough to identify his visitor.

"I was hoping you could lend me your villa in Greece for the weekend. Hermione and I are in dire need of sometime away. Molly and Minerva are relentless, as are Ginny and Luna. We are both running low on patience and need to get away for a few days." He explained. Severus nodded and dug around in a drawer for a moment.

"Here are the keys. Bring them back when you return. There are two house elves there, Selky and Welky. They take care of everything. I'll let them know you're coming. Albus can give you a portkey. The old bugger probably has one ready for you."

"Thank you, Severus, and could we keep this between us?"

"I wont say a word." He answered with a smile.

"You're a good friend Severus. Thank you. I'll go see Albus about the portkey." Remus pocketed the keys and made his way out of the dungeons to the Headmaster's office. He guessed a few times at the password before the gargoyle allowed him to go up. Albus was waiting as usual.

"Remus. Good to see you, my boy. How are you?" He asked.

"Tired and looking for a quick favor." Remus answered. Albus gestured for him to sit.

"Of course. What can I do for you?"

"I need a portkey to Severus' house in Greece. He's letting Hermione and me stay there for the weekend to get away for a while. We're both getting burned out."

"Naturally weddings are stressful. I'll have it ready for you by the time you leave. I'm guessing Friday?"

"Yes, Albus."

"I'll drop it by along with the return key as well, Thursday night. Now go on. You have a shop to run."

"Albus, could you…?"

"Keep things quiet? Of course." Remus nodded and flooed back to the store. The rest of the day was bearable because he knew Hermione would enjoy the time away, as would her. He told her that night, as they got ready for bed.

Friday morning rolled around quickly and Hermione and Remus couldn't have been more ready. Albus had dropped off the portkey the night before. They packed a bag and were in Greece a few moments later. Severus' home was a modest villa overlooking the ocean. They were met at the door by the house elves and shown to their room.

Hermione unpacked her summer clothes and went out to the balcony after donning linen pants and a tank top. Remus followed suit. It was peaceful. There was only the sound of the waves and a few gulls circling overhead, and best of all no interruptions.

That first day they enjoyed the sun and went down to the beach. They swam then walked while Hermione collected shells. The second day was spent exploring the grounds and bits of the house. Sunday came too soon, but it was raining so they spent it in bed. They were relaxed and rejuvenated when they port keyed back on Monday morning. Remus returned the keys and went to open the shop. As soon as Hermione was awake enough, she went down to her lab and for most of the day, the two lovers managed to avoid the wedding planners. Then they were once again set upon.

_It ticks just like a Timex_

_It never lets up on you_

_Who said life was easy_

_The job is never through_

_It'll run us until we're ragged_

_It'll harden our hearts_

_And love could use a day of rest_

_Before we both start falling apart._

_Pray that it's raining on Sunday_

_Storming like crazy_

_We'll hide under the covers all afternoon_

_Baby whatever comes of Monday_

_Can take care of it_

_Cause we got better things that we could do_

_When it's raining on Sunday._

_Your love is like religion_

_Across in Mexico_

_And your kiss is like the innocence_

_Of a prayer nailed to a door_

_Oh surrender is much sweeter_

_When we both let it go_

_Let the water wash our bodies clean_

_And love wash our souls._

_Pray that it's raining on Sunday_

_Storming like crazy_

_We'll hide under the covers all afternoon_

_Baby whatever comes of Monday_

_Can take care of itself_

_Cause we got better things that we could do_

_When it's raining on Sunday._

_Pray that it's raining on Sunday_

_Storming like crazy_

_We'll hide under the covers all afternoon_

_Baby whatever comes of Monday_

_Can take care of itself_

_Cause we got better things that we could do_

_When it's raining on Sunday._

_When it's raining on Sunday_

_When it's raining in Sunday_

_Let it rain_


	7. Your Everything

Love, Pain, And The Whole Crazy Thing

Chapter 7: Your Everything

The day of the wedding came so quickly that Hermione swore someone had used a time turner. She was excited though. She couldn't wait to reach the end of the aisle and bind herself to Remus forever. Molly, Ginny, Minerva, and Luna were fussing over her. She felt decadent. Ginny was twisting her hair into a collection of curls while Luna did her make-up in soft natural colors with a hint of silver. Molly had charmed a few roses to intertwine with the baby's breath circlet she would wear in place of a veil. Her robes were crisp white like fresh snow and edged in a silver Celtic knot pattern. When she was almost ready, Minerva approached her.

"I looked up Muggle customs. You need four things to set you up before you walk down the aisle." Hermione was handed a lacy garter with a midnight blue ribbon in it.

"The something blue."

"Yes, here's the new and the old." She found a Celtic cross draped around her neck and a pair of silver earrings placed in her hand.

"The necklace is a gift, your something new. The earrings were a gift, given to me on my wedding day, your something borrowed and something old."

"Thank you Minerva. Thanks, all of you. You've made this day even more special." Just then Arthur knocked on the door, announcing that it was time to start. Minerva took her place as mother of the bride with Molly next to her. Ginny came next followed by Luna. Remus was waiting with Harry and Severus standing for him. Arthur escorted Hermione up the aisle and Remus could barely breathe. She was so ethereal she was breathtaking. And suddenly she was there, holding his hand. They had written their own vows, so Albus, who was presiding, gestured for Remus to speak.

"Hermione, the first time I looked in you eyes, I knew I would do anything for you. I will witness all of your dreams. I will be the sun coming up in your eyes and the spark that lights you up. I will be your everything, forever."

"Remus, the first time you touched my face I felt something like I've never felt with anyone else. I will be the wind that fills your sails. I will be the moon that moves your tide. I will be your compass so you don't get lost. I will be your everything, forever."

The rest of the ceremony was a blur of their friends and family. But as they took their portkey for their two-week honeymoon in Aruba, they knew they would live happily ever after.

_The first time I looked in your eyes I knew_

_That I would do anything for you_

_The first time you touched my face I felt_

_Like I never felt with anyone else_

_I want to give back what you've given to me_

_And I want to witness all of your dreams_

_Now that you've show me who I really am_

_I want to be more than just you man._

_I want to be the wind that fills your sails_

_And be the hand that lifts your veil_

_And be the moon to your tide_

_The sun coming up in your eyes_

_Be the wheel that never rusts_

_And the spark that lights you up_

_All that you've been dreaming and more_

_So much more, I want to be your everything_

_When you wake up I'll be the first thing you see_

_And when it gets dark you can reach out to me_

_I'll cherish your words and I'll finish your thoughts_

_And I'll be your compass baby when you get lost._

_I want to be the wind that fills your sails_

_And be the hand that lifts your veil_

_And be the moon to your tide_

_The sun coming up in your eyes_

_Be the wheel that never rusts_

_And the spark that lights you up_

_All that you've been dreaming and more_

_So much more, I want to be your everything._

_When you wake up I'll be the first thing you see_

_And when it gets dark you can reach out to me_

_I'll cherish your words and I'll finish your thoughts_

_And I'll be your compass baby when you get lost._

_I want to be your everything._


End file.
